An open letter to Bal

Let me begin by saying that I do not hate you... I scanned the pages of your friendster account, hoping to fish out some information and these are what I've found...


I had my preliminary and secondary education way back then in Immaculate Heart of Mary Academy. It is where I met my BARKADAs and friends, my band mates and my well... other "LOVE TEAMS" hehehe... As of the moment I wrote this, I was still studying in Ateneo de Davao University taking up Bachelor of Science in Management Accounting. I plan to go to law school and become a lawyer.

I've watched you while you were growing, and I know that you are a brilliant kid. Since we were kids, you amazed me with your intelligence. Yes, you have the potential of becoming a very good lawyer someday. I hope someday that you would eventually pursue this dream.. If only you would pursue this dream...

The only thing I wanted in life to give a good life to my future family, provide them what they need, and be the husband and father that they could be proud of. I can say that I am not a religious person, but I believe in God as much as I believe that there is still hope every time I take a breath. I would want to full fill my dreams and would always give hopes to my fantasies. My dreams are those that I stated earlier, for my family; for them to be well-supported and well-provided persons physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As a future father, I want to be a provider. I want to stand and take responsibility because that is what a father should instantly posses.

I also have fantasies that for others (or for most...) are highly illogical. I wanted to be a boxing champion or a rock star. But well... They are just mere fantasies that if luck enough, and I mean really lucky enough, I can have a taste of what I fantasize for. I would not risk these fantasies though for good life. I am not willing to pay the price for glory especially if it would put the life and safety of my family at stake. Family comes first.

I cried while reading those words... Your fantasies, you've been telling us almost everyday. You've been working hard for it, really hard. We all know you've got what it takes to be that one you've fantasized about. I know I am not one of those who support you in this endeavor. I know how hard it is to be alone in this one thing that you've been dreaming to achieve. I know that you know my reasons for not supporting you. You may not understand me now, but you know that our intentions are for your own benefit.

Don't ever think that we've abandoned you.

You're still young. You have a bright future ahead of you, only if you use your time well. I know that you are wise enough. Man isn't faultless. We make mistakes. We make wrong decisions. But that doesn't mean that we are forever barred from starting anew. We are meant to stand after each fall.

It's not wrong to decide for yourself. But each decision you make carries with it a lot of responsibilities and consequences. Just imagining you in a boxing match scares me to death. Remember, every blow that you receive and every wound that you incur, you're not the only one who's hurting. You may feel that physical pain but we, too, are hurting more than the physical pain that you feel. It's like an emotional torture.

I weep for your parents who have labored so much to put you in a good school. I weep for their dreams and hopes of seeing you someday in your toga. I weep for that little boy I once knew, the grown man that little boy has become has somehow gone astray.

I pray that you'll find your way back soon.